And Then Reality Sets In

Well these things are bound to happen. Reality sets in when your expectations and your bosses collide with a less then perfect outcome.

In my case something I worked hard for just didn't materialize. Like a baseball player waiting on a fastball and getting a slider instead, only to pop out to first to end the inning. Dreams of a game changing hit down the drain in an instant. There is no preparation for that moment. The feeling of anxiety is overwhelming and you just can't let anyone know your insides are in knots. You put on your game face and you go out to the field to play your position like its no big deal, but it stays with you, after the next at bat and sometimes for more then a game.

In business its the moment of disappointment when everything you have worked for falls a little short. Not for lack of effort or even for work well done. It just doesn't materialize the way you were hoping for.

And then reality sets in. We have all been there and we will all find our selves in the place a few more times in the future too.

So instinct takes over, you muddle through and move on. Sometimes life is difficult. There is no real "best way" to handle that moment. Maybe that's o.k. and it makes us a little stronger, tougher more resilient in the long run. Or maybe people just say that to rationalize the crappy way you feel when it happens. For me this particular game is over. Tomorrow is a new game, a new set of at bats and another chance to hit one out!

The Road to No Where

Some times the road we are on is the road to no where. The road signs look the same as any road, but after traveling a while we just realize that we have no idea where we are going or where the road is leading to.
Sometimes this is a good thing, the problem is knowing when to get off this road and on to one with a clear destination. The interesting thing is that these roads are not dictated by success or money. Sometimes no matter how hard we try try we can't impact the inevitable. I am on one of those roads right now. I have the title, money and success most around me loath for. Truth is I just finish a long trip to the top. Now I am on a new road and I think I need to get off fast. There are too many other cars on my road trying to knock me over the guard rail. Corporate politics can suck...Seth Godin talks about "The Dip" and I am definitely in the dip right now...the good thing is I know I am on the road to know where, and i just happened to pick up a GPS...if your on the road to no where you should definitely get one!

I Have Been BAD...

No one's perfect. Lately I have been a lot less then perfect. Some might goes as far as calling me a few four and five letter words.
The pressure of running a large complex project the past 10 months has gotten to me. I am tired,anxious, raw, and to say it bluntly MEAN. Down deep I am a nice guy, but to get to the finish line I put on my game face and kicked some ass. There are a few dead bodies in the road, and I hear the whispers when I walk by. I make no excuses for my behavior. Sometimes to win you need to play hard and even a little dirty. Lets be honest your competitors in business are not throwing superlatives at you every day of the week. Maybe one or two. Behind the scenes their plotting to kick your ass. Well in "project land" its not so much about competitors as it is about diverse groups that really don't want to change or help. I have learned a lot about how people work and cooperate (or rather fail to cooperate). In the end there are always a few people you can count on and fortunately for me they were all part of my project team.
As far as my personality morphing from Jekyll to Hyde its to be expected. My next challenge is to settle down and try to get back to the fun loving and "nice" guy. It will certainly take some time and I am sure some people will hold on to the sound bites of my cursing and hammering away. At least I am self aware and trying to adjust.
Have you been bad? What do you do when the devil comes out?

The World is Wireless and I can't Unplug

It occurred to me on the way to a round of golf today how profound the amount of change around us is. We are in an "inflection point" of change in the world of business.

Think about the 1960's - 3 martini lunches, secretaries, bad television ( my mother the car, Mr. Ed, Lost in Space and F- troop to name a few)...I could go on for a week. How did anyone get anything done. No computers, blackberry's, instant messaging, bbm'ing...Tivo...I left my office Tuesday to travel to Charlotte on business. My CEO calls me and sais can I come to his office in 10 minutes. I say to him unless he can "beam me up Scottie" like a transporter in star trek (another 60's t.v. show) I don't think so, I'm 800 miles away...I have call fwd on my phone- Voice over I.P. so he thought I was in my office. In a sense I was, as offices are not about physical space anymore. They're about having your work at your finger tips and being accessible anytime and anywhere.
The world has changed more in 4 decades then it has in 4 centuries...well maybe not quite but close...It's changed dramatically in the past 24 months...In fact the Buzz phrase of the moment is "Speed of change"...The biggest change ? No off switch to anything...its 24 x 7, work, home, social networking, tweeting, face booking, linking...on and on...you cant pull the plug, because there is no plug any more...wireless has a new meaning.
I don;t know if I like this new world, its uncomfortable and unrelenting. Maybe I just need to embrace the change, As a Baby boomer I have not grown up with these things, I have had to adapt. Sometimes I wish I was a gen-y...they seem to handle this new world a whole lot better.
So I want to know how do you unplug, when you can[t find the cord?

Things That Matter, Things That Don't

This is a 2 list blog post. One column- things that matter. One column- things that don't.
So lets start with things that matter: Family, friends, community, doing something that helps someone else, doing really cool and innovative work, laughing, spending a few minutes being in the moment, coming home from a shitty day at work and having your dog wag its tail and give you a big wet lick on the face, babies, soccer on the weekend, tennis at night, movies, a day at the park, a night at the ball park, sunrise or sunset at the beach, barbeque, Ferris Bueller's day off.
Things that Don't: Narcissistic boss's, whiny staff, sucking up, reruns, 90% of everyday, mistakes, angry people.
What matters to you? What doesn't?

Tell the Truth

I have spent the past 2 weeks doing 360 feedback sessions with part of our leadership team and I am amazed at how little real feedback people give each other.
It's not that there is no feedback, its just not strong enough. It's a tap dance, no one wants to offend a boss, pier, or subordinate. Why? The whole point of the assessment is to be brutally honest and yet so few people seem to be able to muster the courage to do so. And when they do it comes off as "harsh" or bullying...
I don't get it...why are co-workers afraid to share their true feelings?
Ask yourself are you forthcoming at work and if not -why not?
Inquiring minds want to know...

Do Something Majestic!

It’s fathers day next week and I want to suggest doing something majestic, Take one day out from work and spend time with your father, and if your lucky to be a father spend time with your kids. Memories are immeasurable and if lucky last a lifetime. Make the day magical.

Time is the one thing you can't accumulate. Treasured moments with family can never be reproduced. My father past away almost 9 years ago so father’s day for me is about my daughter for without her I would not qualify for participation. With my brothers passing this past winter I will additionally claim surrogate responsibility for my niece and nephew. I promised my brother I would look after them. Father’s day is a great reminder to keep my word.
When my daughter was little she used to play soccer on fathers day in tournaments. Coaching and cheering her on are some of my fondest memories of this day. Now that she is older, I look forward to spending a couple of quality hours with her just hanging out. Most years we spend time with extended family barbecuing and sharing a few laughs. This year I might even play a round of golf, but the day will not be complete without seeing my daughter and extended family. For those without fathers or children, find a family member or friend and spend time with them. Enjoy being in the moment. Leave work on your desk, or on your pc. Don’t check your blackberry either…No distractions.
I'm a workaholic, but I am also a father. Priorities are clear for this one day!
What are you doing on father's day?